You lose something precious when you lose your first love. It’s not just the person; it’s not just the heady experience of discovering emotions utterly new to you.It’s something else, something intangible and difficult to define. Only later, much later when the mourning is over and the heartache and the hurt have dwindled to memories do you realize what it was – the unhesitating courage to stake everything on what you feel. You will love once more, of this you are certain, but never again with the abandon that comes from not knowing just what a risk you are taking. You will always be aware of that your heart can be wrong, because you remember the certainty of the first time you loved and how that certainty wasn’t enough in the end. There’s a loss of innocence that can never be recovered, and that, I think, is something that haunts you long after you have forgotten the dreams you once dreamed.
But if you are brave enough, there will come a time when you decide that the risk is worth taking once more. Hopefully you will not only be brave but wise as well, so that you will take this gamble at the right time and for the right person. Because if you are rash, then every mistake you make will cost you a part of your heart that you can never recover. But if you are careful –and very, very fortunate – then you may find something quite different from your first love: a love that is both thrilling and steadfast, both dreamy and real. Because this time around, you will know the value of what you have found and try harder to protect it. The memory of loss will make the joy of having that much sweeter. And the time you have waited to heal and to grow will be rewarded with a treasure worth more than you dared imagine, something more exquisite than you can describe. Then, finally, your faith in forever will be restored.
Ormeleth Veren, everyone.