The Second Time Around

You lose something precious when you lose your first love. It’s not just the person; it’s not just the heady experience of discovering emotions utterly new to you.It’s something else, something intangible and difficult to define. Only later, much later when the mourning is over and the heartache and the hurt have dwindled to memories do you realize what it was – the unhesitating courage to stake everything on what you feel.  You will love once more, of this you are certain, but never again with the abandon that comes from not knowing just what a risk you are taking. You will always be aware of that your heart can be wrong, because you remember the certainty of the first time you loved and how that certainty wasn’t enough in the end. There’s a loss of innocence that can never be recovered, and that, I think, is something that haunts you long after you have forgotten the dreams you once dreamed.

But if you are brave enough, there will come a time when you decide that the risk is worth taking once more. Hopefully you will not only be brave but wise as well, so that you will take this gamble at the right time and for the right person. Because if you are rash, then every mistake you make will cost you a part of your heart that you can never recover. But if you are careful –and very, very fortunate – then you may find something quite different from your first love: a love that is both thrilling and steadfast, both dreamy and real. Because this time around, you will know the value of what you have found and try harder to protect it. The memory of loss will make the joy of having that much sweeter. And the time you have waited to heal and to grow will be rewarded with a treasure worth more than you dared imagine, something more exquisite than you can describe. Then, finally, your faith in forever will be restored.

Ormeleth Veren, everyone.

Saving My 214

Maybe it’s because February is here, because for some reason, recent conversations I’ve had with friends keep returning to the topic of love. And when that happens, one thing is almost certain: I would have to explain why–in a time where being part of a couple is mostly the rule rather than the exception – I’ve chosen to stay single. A lot of people have told me that my standards are too high, that I’m too idealistic. So this got me thinking: Could they possibly be right? Am I waiting for someone who exists only in my imagination? Am I playing it too safe?

Maybe, in a way, I am being extra careful. I’ve made mistakes before, and I know the ache that comes from regrets over wrong decisions. But fear isn’t my motivation for waiting. It’s hope.

I’m hoping, no matter what the odds, that when the time is right, someone I can love without reservation will come. I am dreaming of a person who will be gentle with the most vulnerable side of me, the side that very few people get to see. More important than his physical appeal will be his wisdom, his tenderness, his faith. I’m not asking for someone who will go to the ends of the earth for me, but for someone who will take the effort to know me more deeply than anyone else has known me before. That may not be as easy as it seems – I am ridiculously neurotic when it comes to my personal boundaries. So I’m hoping that he will also have the patience and the sense of humor necessary to deal with the less-than-ideal aspects of my personality. And because I am obviously far from being perfect, I am praying that he will also trust me enough to let me see his flaws so that I can love him for who he is. Without hesitation, I would gladly trade all the moonlit serenades in the world for a lifetime of laughter and conversations with such a man.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for romance and the thrill of being in love. Every girl dreams of being swept off her feet. But what I’m saying is this: Without the friendship, without the spiritual bond, then all the roses and all the candlelight in the world will not make a relationship last. It’s the commitment that’s vital, more than the adrenalin rush. It’s the daily decision to make a conscious effort to put the needs of another person first. This, for me, is true love. And I know it doesn’t come easy. Love like this doesn’t grow in the time span of a slow dance or a kiss. It takes time: time to grow together, to learn about each other and to mature in generosity. So I’ve chosen to wait until I’m ready to give and to receive this kind of love. Because right now, I know that I still have a long way to go.

I know this is a risk – a risk of hoping, of trusting that somewhere in my future is the love story I am praying for. But I’m willing to take it. I’m ready to take the chance that I may be missing out on what could be the most exciting years of my life by waiting for something that I can’t even glimpse on the horizon yet. Because isn’t this what faith is all about – the substance of things unseen, the evidence of things hoped for? And I do have a guarantee that I could stake everything on: the certainty that Someone who loves me deeply is in control of my future. So from my perspective, this gamble is definitely in my favor.

It may take a long time, but that’s how it is with everything worthwhile.   I don’t feel a need to rush, for what are a few years of waiting when I’m anticipating a lifetime with the right person? In the meantime, this I know: that when he finally arrives, I will know why no other person could have taken his place. I will know that I can only belong with him and with no one else. So no matter what it takes, I am saving my heart for him. I know he will be worth it.

 

Someday

by Kate Bradshaw

I’ve never seen his face, I’ve never heard his voice
But I know he’s out there waiting for me
I’ve never felt his touch or tasted his kiss
But my heart will know the moment we meet

Might be tomorrow, might be today
I don’t know the time, I don’t know the place

Someday, somewhere
Someone will be there
To love me and share
The rest of my life
Won’t look behind me
Let destiny guide me
I know that he’ll find me
Someday, somewhere

I’ve seen all the looks, I’ve heard all the lines
I know what most guys are about
I’ll know the truth when I look in his eyes
And I know there won’t be any doubt

I’m not in a hurry, there’s lots of time
But I keep his picture in the back of my mind

Someday, somewhere
Someone will be there
To love me and share
The rest of my life
Won’t look behind me
Let destiny guide me
I know that he’ll find me
Someday, somewhere

 

NOTE FROM EVENSTARWEN: I really wish I could help out those who are asking for the song, but I don’t have it anymore. If anybody knows where to download/buy it, please comment. Thank you, and thanks for reading!

 

When You Walked Into My Life

by Jaci Velasquez

I’ve waited all this time
Counting minutes as they pass
Searching for a sign
Wishing for the best

And just when my hopes were wearing thin
You turned my heart to love again
Like a miracle out of the blue
You rescued me like the angels do
You shook the heavens and cracked the sky
When you walked… when you walked into my life

When you appeared
Like sight to the blind
Like music to my ears
Like a reason to a rhyme

And just when I thought my chance was gone
Love came to me with open arms
You spoke my name and the world began again
You touched my heart and it opened
Like a miracle out of the blue
You rescued me like the angels do
You shook the heavens and cracked the sky
When you walked… when you walked into my life.

To the one I will love forever…

Darling, did you know that I, I dream about you?
Waiting for the look in your eyes
When we meet for the first time
And darling, did you know that I, I pray about you
Praying that you will hold on
Keep your loving arms only for me

Because I am waiting for,
Praying for you, darling
Wait for me, too
Wait for me as I wait for you
Darling, wait

Darling, did you know I dream about life together
Knowing you will be forever
I’ll be yours and you’ll be mine
And darling, when I say, “’til death do us part”
I’ll mean it with all of my heart
Now and always, faithful to you

Now I know you may have made mistakes
But there’s forgiveness
And a second chance
So wait for me
Darling, wait for me

Wait for me
Wait for me
Wait for Me

by Rebecca St.James

Why wait?

Because I am deeply loved.

Because that love is more than enough.

Because that love assures me that nothing less than the best is being prepared for my future.

Not because I am broken hearted.

But because I have been made whole.

Not because I am afraid.

But because I am brave enough to love the man of my dreams now, and to honor him even while I do not know him yet.

Not because I do not believe in love.

But because I believe that love should be nothing less than true. And if it is, then it is worth waiting for.

So I will wait. I know he will come. Someone who, like me, will know that there is no other place to be but beside each other. Someone who will love me so much that he would never put me first before our God. Someone who will lead me. Someone who will wait for the right time to say I love you.

And when he does, I’ll tell him that I love him too. That I waited for him. That I believed he will come, and that I saved all my best for him. Because I know that the man I will love, wherever he is right now, deserves nothing less than my best.

I will be true to him, no matter who and where he may be.

I will let God mold me into the woman of his dreams.

I will keep my promise.

True love waits.

 

Somewhere Out There

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight

Someone’s thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone’s saying a prayer

That we’ll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through

Then we’ll be together somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are

It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby

It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through

Then we’ll be together somewhere out there

Out where dreams come true.

~ from An American Tail

After Sunrise

I would like to reach you

if I could

but we both know

that my arms cannot ignore

the laws of time.

Of course, in dreams
where rules don’t matter,
and a poem is more than a poem,
my words can touch reality –
your reality
at least while I am asleep.

I get tired, too.
Paper is such a flimsy medium
for the intensity
of this wistful tenderness
but it is all I have
for now

because it is daylight
and you cannot listen.

How will it feel, I wonder,
to smile for you?

Find me.

I would share with you
how to look for patches of sky
embroidered with acacia leaves
I would whisper
what a woman really means
with her Mona Lisa smiles
and explain
that really, spiderwebs
are for catching dewdrops
and not butterflies at all.

I will speak,
I will listen

when it is time.

Prelude

This soul-deep longing
for a half-remembered dream
bewilders me, and I wonder:

How can I miss someone
I do not even know?

No meeting,
no memories –
just this silent sadness

for what is unseen, unheard, untouched,
unknown.

In the crowd,
the secret heaviness haunts me
and I search for that nameless hope
with faith like wildflowers
blooming against the odds.

The promise is sacred,
so I wait.

________________________________________________________
*Whoever and wherever you are, I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes, I know it will be worth it.

An Open Letter to Neo, the Jollibee Employee I Met in the San Jose Shuttle Van Terminal

Dear Sir,

No, I have no plans to get married any time in the near future. Thank you very much for your offer.

Sincerely,
The Girl in Pink