Tag Archive | miscommunication

Fresher than sushi

LOL. Something’s wrong with me. I’m in a public place and I can’t stop laughing about something I just heard over a jeepney’s AM radio. In an interview over a recent fishkill in their town, the mayor issued this public health warning:

“At present and until further announcements, the residents are advised to avoid eating dead fish.”

Hahahahahaha. I’m sorry. This is completely shallow, I know. OMG I have to stop. Hahahahahaha.

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ANOTHER Open Letter to People Who STILL Think I Know What They’re Thinking

Dear People Who Believe I Can Read Minds,

I can’t. Really. You see, when psychology students graduate in the near (or more often not-so-near) future, we thank God with all our hearts and then finally become psychologists. Or we may come to our senses sooner than that and shift to a course as far away from mental health as possible. Anyway, we won’t become psychics. Ever. Nope, not even with tutorials from Freud himself. (I can’t speak for The Professor, though. I mean, who knows?)

So with that out of the way, I would like to say please, in the name of all things good and beautiful, stop asking me to guess what’s on your mind. Seriously.

If you don’t (sigh), I would have to be a little tough and tell your classmates you were thinking of telling your teacher that she really should make the final exam right minus wrong.* So don’t push me, ok?

Sincerely,
Your Non-Psychic Friend

* Of course I’m kidding. What, you still believe I can read…wait. You mean you were actually thinking of telling your teacher exactly that? Really? Oh…my…(faints)

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sign me up for a crash course on “How to Talk to Your Little Brother About the Facts of Life”

Josh: Ate, yung kilala mo pala may baby na?

Ako: Opo.

Josh: Pero nag-aaral pa sya?

Ako: Yup.

Josh: Eh ilang years old na sya?

Ako: Ka-edad ko lang, Josh.

Josh: Eh saan yung asawa nya?

Ako: Wala syang asawa.

Josh: Eh bakit sya may baby?

Ako: Kasi po, may boyfriend sya noon, kaya lang nagbreak na sila…pero may baby na sya.

Josh: Ninakaw lang pala nya yung baby?

Ako: Hindi! Ginawa nila yun.

Josh: Robot lang pala yun?

Waaaahhh…there should be a law against nine-year-old boys asking too many questions during breakfast…

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Best (Worst?) Bloopers of All Time

  • “I couldn’t care a damn!”
  • “What’s your next class before this?” (ANO DAW???!!!)
  • “Nothing in this world is perfect except the word “change” .
  • “Can you repeat that for the second time around once more from the top?” (ulitin natin hanggang mamatay tayo!)
  • “My dad brought home a lot of hand-me-downs!” (Translation: Daming pasalubong ng tatay ko.)
  • “I’m very iterated!!!” (transalation: galit sya! haha!)
  • “I’m sorry, my boss just passed away.” (translation: kakadaan lang ng boss nya.)
  • “Hello, my boss is out of town. Would you like to wait?”
  • “What happened after the erection of Mayon Volcano?”
  • “Don’t touch me not!”
  • “Hello?… For a while, please hang yourself…”
  • “It’s spilled milk under the bridge.”
  • “Don’t change anything! Keep it at ease.”
  • “Hello McDo? Mag-i-inquire lang ako kung magkano ang kidney meal?” (yung pang-batang pagkain)
  • “You!!! You’re not a boy anymore! You’re a man anymore!”
  • “Out of fit ako these days eh… “(translation: di sya nakakapag-exercise)
  • “Come, lets join us!”
  • “Bring down the house down!”
  • “I’m the world champion of the World!!!”
  • “Beneath the Belt!”
  • “Rule of Hand…”(thumb yata ibig sabihin…)
  • “Mukhang haggard-looking.”
  • “Do you have more brighter ideas?”
  • “Halatang obvious naman yata.”
  • “Well well well. Look do we have here!”
  • “It’s a no-win-win situation.”
  • “Burn the bridge when you get there.”
  • “Anulled and void.”
  • “Mute and academic.”
  • “If worse comes to shove.”
  • “Are you joking my leg?”
  • “You can never can tell.”
  • “Been there, been that.”
  • “Forget it about it.”
  • “Give him the benefit of the daw.”
  • “It’s a blessing in the sky.”
  • “Right there and right then.”
  • “Where’d you came from?”
  • “Take things first at a time.”
  • “You’re barking at the wrong dog.”
  • “You want to have your cake and bake it too.”
  • “First and for all.”
  • “Now and there.”
  • “I’m only human nature.”
  • “The sky’s the langit.”
  • “That’s what I’m talking about it.”
  • “One of these days is not like the other.”
  • “So far, so good, so far.”
  • “Time is of the elements.”
  • “In the wink of an eye.”
  • “The feeling is actual.”
  • “For all intense and purposes.”
  • “I ran into some errands.”
  • “Hi. I’m , what’s yours?”
  • “What is the world is coming to?”
  • “What is the next that is?”
  • “Get the most of both worlds.”
  • “Bahala na sila sa mga batman nila.”
  • “Whatever you say so.”
  • “Base-to-base casis.”
  • “My answers have been prayered.”
  • “Please me alone!”
  • “It’s as brand as new.”
  • “So… what’s a beautiful girl like you?….”
  • “I can’t take it anymore of this!”
  • “Are you sure ka na ba?”
  • “Can’t you just cut me some slacks?”


*from cool site
www.jeizee.multiply.com


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An Open Letter to People Who Think I Know What They’re Thinking

Dear Folks

Yes, I am taking up BS Psychology. No, I will not be a psychic when I graduate. No, I cannot read your minds. Yes, I would appreciate it if you would stop asking me to do so. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Me

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