Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise with

Let go. Why do you cling to pain?

~ Leo Buscaglia

Dear JB,

It wasn’t an easy promise to make, was it? I think I used up a month’s supply of charm and persuasiveness just to get you to agree. But it’s worth it, if I can save you from a few mistakes. You’re hurting enough, JB. I didn’t want you to have any more regrets.

The thing is, I understand, perhaps better than you think. This is the kind of hurt that fills your every waking moment, and makes you desperate for anything that will make it stop, even for a while. Anything that will help you forget and allow you to be someone else aside from a person who’s broken inside.  I’ve been there. But I assure you, it won’t always be this bad. It won’t always be this difficult. You won’t always have to pretend you’re okay. Sooner or later, the hurt will subside and your smiles will be real again. I hope it’s sooner, because I haven’t seen your smile for so long. I miss it.

You’ve never broken a promise to me before. I believe in you, JB. We have thirteen more days. You can do this. 🙂

Love,

B

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

My feet will never get tired of walking with you.

~ you

Dear Legolas,

Thinking back on my favorite memories, the moments when I felt truly and wonderfully alive, I realize that in so many of them, you’re with me. Those times together have something in common, some indefinable magic that keeps them vividly colored in a gallery of sepia recollections and black and white nostalgia. How can I possibly decide which is best?

Let me see. Shall I pick that wet afternoon when we drew the sun on the ground while the rain drummed on our umbrellas? Or perhaps that time we caught fireflies in the dew-soaked grass? Maybe I should choose that day we sailed a paper boat on the koi pond in our favorite hideout. But what about the night we gathered frangipani blossoms after the storm? It is impossible to take one and say it is better than the others. I would not have missed even a single second for the world.

Remembering our escapades and misadventures, our little traditions and quirks, I realize that they’re all simple pleasures, things I can do with anyone whenever I want to. But I know that it won’t be the same. It won’t be us, it won’t have that whimsical, adventurous feeling that I’ve never found in any other friendship. Sure, I can go places with others, but it won’t be the same as taking the simplest stroll with you.  Together, we have walked countless roads, some to places we’ve never been before, others to old, familiar haunts that hold so much of our history that we have given them new names known only to us — the Parthenon, Toad Island, the Bahay, etc. Every step on every path moves us closer to discovering each other, and even ourselves.

Perhaps that is one of the reasons this friendship is so special — for two very different people, we reflect each other with unusual clarity. When I’m with you, I recognize myself better, and you see truths about me that I’ve never known before. You can tell me things that no one else understands, knowing that there is no judgment between us, only trust. We are safe with each other.

And I miss that feeling. I miss you. And soon, really soon, we’ll have the chance to make new memories again. I’m counting the days.  🙂

Always,

Arwen

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

The first time I see your face, everything around me will fade to the background. I’ll be struck full by the truth in your gaze as you work an indelible change in me. ~Brooke Fraser

To someone genuinely amazing,

I will never forget that look in your eyes that night. It was like you couldn’t believe that I was real, standing there right  in front of you after being gone so long. As I looked at you looking at me, I wondered how it was possible for you to care that much. Yet I couldn’t doubt what I saw.

The day we met, I knew you were someone extraordinary. There was just something about you, something real and wonderful that drew people in, that made them want to be part of your sphere. Without even trying, you stood out from the crowd. And so I didn’t allow myself to expect too much of our new friendship. With everybody wanting you, I was sure you’d move on to other things sooner or later. Maybe, I thought, once in a while we’d pass by each other and  smile. That would have to be enough.

And yet you stayed.  With the spotlight on you and everybody knowing who you are, you stayed. I’d go through my crazy ups and downs, appearing and disappearing from your life, and you’d still be there — holding out a hand, waiting for me to take it. I never did, thinking you were just being nice, and that I shouldn’t bother you when you had so many other things clamoring for your attention. But maybe I should have. Maybe I should have let myself take a chance.

Because there was something in your eyes when you looked at me that night, something that might have been an offer of strength, an invitation to trust. And when you held me close, I felt — for the first time in along while — just a little less alone. And I am so tired of being alone.

Hoping,

A friend

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

“Hey, how ya doin?” ~ you

Hey, you.

Who would’ve thought that a simple posting of a Pablo Neruda poem on my profile would lead to a new friendship? You saw it, and it must have struck a chord, because you messaged me to ask for the link. Thinking nothing of it, I replied. You were just a friend of a friend, what more could happen?

But something more did happen. “Tonight, I write the saddest lines,” Neruda wrote. And one night, you wrote to me about your loss, your might-have-been. Before I knew it, I was sharing my story, too.  Maybe the fact that you were a stranger made it easier at first. After all, you had no expectations of me, no image that I had to live up to. I could just be myself. If it didn’t work out, no big deal, right? But the more we talked, the less you seemed like a stranger and more like someone I could actually care about.

Isn’t it funny how life can be so random sometimes? Something you thought would last forever  crashes and burns before you know it, and something that started so insignificantly becomes something to look forward to. Like a  poem bridging the gap between two people who could not be more different from each other.

So I guess what I’m really trying to say is, I think you’re pretty cool. I’m not the easiest person to get to know, but you might get there eventually. Who knows? After all, stranger things have happened. Especially on the Internet. 🙂

One of these days, soon, I’ll take you up on your ice cream invitation. I promise you, I do exist outside of Facebook.

It’s me,

Abbie

A Tribute to Royal Highness, Kamarikutan, and Paper Boats that Sail for Home