Tag Archive | promises

This is how I plan to love you for the rest of my life

Just so you know, this is what happens when you have my heart.

You would never doubt it.

I wouldn’t let you.

Be more mysterious, I’ve been told, by magazines and blogs and sleepover confidants. It’s a mistake to let him know everything that you feel. Men like the chase, like competition, to keep from getting bored. So make him jealous, they wink and nudge. Play hard to get.

But how hard to get can I be, babe, when I’m already yours?

How jealous can I make you when the very thought of you doubting your place in my life feels unbearably wrong?

There will be no games between us. No manipulations, no pretenses, no lies.

You will know that you hold my heart. You will know that I would never want anyone else.

You will know that I love you.

See, I plan on telling you every day.

First thing when I wake up, whispered against your skin.

Last thing at night, for you to take into your dreams.

When you are tired and frustrated and sad.

When you are so lighthearted you start singing songs whether you know the lyrics or not.

When you make me laugh.

When you save me from cockroaches and nightmares and panic attacks.

When I am proud of you.

When you can’t believe that I am proud of you (especially then).

When we need to fix something wrong, so you’ll know that whatever it is, it won’t change how I feel.

When I’m asking for coffee kisses.

When you’re asking for a back rub.

When I welcome you home or kiss you goodbye.

When you look like you need a hug, or even when you don’t but I just want to give you one anyway.

I will keep telling you, babe, in whispers, in exclamations, in laughter, in letters, in touches, in looks.  I will tell you until it sinks into your skin, flows with your blood, and joins in the beating of your heart. Until my love for you becomes part of who you are, and who you will be, for as long as your heart beats, and mine.

I will tell you, always.

And every time I do, I will mean it more than the last time I said it. Every “I love you” will carry the weight of all the “I love you’s” before, and the promise of more to come.

That promise will always be fulfilled.

I will always love you.

And I will always let you know.

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Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise with

Let go. Why do you cling to pain?

~ Leo Buscaglia

Dear JB,

It wasn’t an easy promise to make, was it? I think I used up a month’s supply of charm and persuasiveness just to get you to agree. But it’s worth it, if I can save you from a few mistakes. You’re hurting enough, JB. I didn’t want you to have any more regrets.

The thing is, I understand, perhaps better than you think. This is the kind of hurt that fills your every waking moment, and makes you desperate for anything that will make it stop, even for a while. Anything that will help you forget and allow you to be someone else aside from a person who’s broken inside.  I’ve been there. But I assure you, it won’t always be this bad. It won’t always be this difficult. You won’t always have to pretend you’re okay. Sooner or later, the hurt will subside and your smiles will be real again. I hope it’s sooner, because I haven’t seen your smile for so long. I miss it.

You’ve never broken a promise to me before. I believe in you, JB. We have thirteen more days. You can do this. 🙂

Love,

B