The tears were dry. The violent, heartrending sobbing that had shaken her until it felt like she would shatter had stopped. Everything had stopped, except pain.
Night had slowly darkened the room, but she barely noticed. She lay on the bed, an exhausted ball of numbness and blank grief. She hadn’t moved for hours. She might never move again, she thought.
Suddenly, she felt a small nose touching her cheek. It was the stray kitten she found yesterday, snuggling close and purring in pleasure. Slowly, she lifted her hand to draw it closer, seeking its warmth.
He prowled in the woods, all soundless precision and deadly intent. His keen eyes dismissed the darkness as a non-hindrance, while his sharp hearing tuned out irrelevant sounds to track the music he lived for: that panicked, frantic thrumming of a heart that recognized lethal pursuit. Fear. Ah. Exhilarating.
Almost there, within striking distance. His victim whimpered, terrified. He silently unsheathed his weapons.
Afterwards, he walked up to the cottage, calling to the woman inside. The door opened, revealing him as he stood in the light.
Cream’s gone. She has been sick for a while now, and she died two nights ago in her sleep. At least I know she was warm and comfortable during her last moments, since I put a reading lamp beside her bed (to give more warmth) and her brother Coffee stayed with her all night. Joshua and I were really sad, but at least she’s in cat heaven now, with our other white kitten Angel. (I read somewhere that albinos have a lower rate of survival than animals with darker pigmentation.) We really miss her. We miss watching tiny little Creamie bullying the much larger Kahlil during meal times. We miss seeing her white body curled up against dark Coffee. We miss having to step around her when she’s sprawled in the middle of the floor like she owns the place. Sigh. Joshua planted a marigold seedling on top of her grave, and he was full of questions about death after we buried her. But, like he said, I shouldn’t be sad because at least Angel has a friend in cat heaven now. Oh well.
Angel’s gone. She died on June 10, the day after I wrote the blog about her. I came home from the overnight retreat of the magnification team to find out that she passed away during the night. She was just too weak and too sick to survive. I miss her. I wish we could have had her longer, but I’m glad that even for a while, we did. And if there’s a place in heaven for kittens, I’m sure she made it there.
May bago kaming kitten!!! White na may konting brown sa tips ng tenga at buntot. Maliit, mas maliit pa kay Elanor nung napulot ko sya…mas payat din, mukhang yagit nga eh, tsaka medyo may sakit, kawawa talaga. Muntik na ngang hindi payagan ni Papa na i-keep namin yun eh, pero napilit sya ni Josh.hehe. “Angel” ang name nya. Love ko pa rin si Elanor, kahit may bagong kitten na. Pero syempre love ko rin si Angel. = )
Aaaaaah, sobrang puyat ako!!!!!!!!! kasi kasi kasi…si Ela eh! Hindi nya ako pinatulog kagabi.hmp.. Nagbabasa lang ako sa kama at nananahimik (except for my phone’s constant beeping), tapos bigla na lang syang nag drama dun sa labas ng kuwarto ko…iyak ng iyak, meow ng meow. Usually sa balkon sya natutulog, kelangan kasi namin syang ilayo kay Butchokoy (for the record, hindi po ako ang nagpangalan ng tutang yan) pag gabi kasi malapit na syang maubusan ng balahibo sa raskalan nila. Kasalanan nya rin yun, sya kasi ang nangunguna, akala nya yata tuta rin sya.hehe. Pero usually hindi naman sya umiiyak sa gabi, kaya nilabas ko…tapos gusto nang pumasok, naglalambing. Eh madali akong maawa dun, baby ko yun eh (traumatic pa ang nakaraan nya, literal syang pinulot sa basurahan). Kaya against my better judgement, pinatulog ko sa kuwarto…at yun na po, ubod na ng kulit. Nilagyan ko sya ng kumot sa dulo ng kama, kaya lang ewan ko kung bakit nya napag-tripan ang ilong ko, gusto nyang tabihan. Ilang beses ko rin syang dinampot at binalik sa dapat nyang tulugan, pero ayaw mag-stay. Maya-maya nasa likod ko na (nakadapa kasi ako magbasa), tapos sa tuktuk ng ulo ko natulog. Pambihira, hanggang 4:30am wala akong ibang ginawa kundi kumbinsihin syang wag ako ang gawing kama. Sa wakas, nakuntento rin syang sa tabi ko na lang matulog…..
Nag-alarm ang phone ko ng 6am, may dance practice ako sa church at 9. Para wag magising si Ela, nilipat ko sa kabilang side ng unan. Yun pala nasa gilid na ako ng kama kasi ayoko syang madaganan. Yun. Isang malakas na blag! Waaaaahhh, naging limang piraso ang nag-iisang cellphone ko. Nung naayos ko na, nakiusap ako kay Lord na patulugin ako ng 30 minutes pa…more abundant than we could ever imagine talaga ang Diyos magbigay, kasi pag gising ko, 8:15 na! Waaaaaaaaaaah, 30 minutes ang byahe papuntang church! Kaya yun. Late ako. At puyat. Buti na lang natapos na namin yung choreography sa dalawang sayaw (yehey, yehey, yehey!) kanina kaya once or twice ko lang napagalitan at nasaway ang youth (sorry po, guys. Naging biktima kayo ng pagkakataon.).
Lesson for the day: Mahirap maging ina. Lalo na ng isang miming na may traumatic na nakaraan, identity crisis, at insomnia.
Hehehehehe…love ko pa rin si Ela. Pero hindi ko na sya patutulugin sa kuwarto ko. Ever. Ooooops. Matagal-tagal yung “ever” ah. “Tonight” na lang. ; )