The other side of someday

I want to watch the rain with you. I want to cuddle on the couch with a blanket, a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows, and you. We’ll open the window a little bit so that the smell of rain can come in, but I won’t be cold. With your arms around me, I’ll be in the safest place I’ve ever been, surrounded by your strength. It’s the only home I’ll ever need.

I want to go camping on the beach, on an island that we can have to ourselves. We’ll put up a tent and wake up early enough to catch the sunrise, and run on sand untouched by any other feet. At night, we’ll light a fire and watch the stars and the fireflies, but it’ll be the hardest thing in the world to think of wishes. What more can I ask for? You’re more than I ever dreamed I could have.

I want to walk with you, too, to everywhere and nowhere in particular. City sidewalks, lamp-lit boulevards, and long-forgotten trails — we’ll explore them together. We’ll duck into old secondhand book stores, try new cafes, or have a picnic under the trees. But the best part of these adventures won’t be how far we went, but the steps we took closer to each other. I’ll never get tired of discovering the man who won my heart.

But mostly, I just want to be with you. To hear you promise your love and trust that you mean it. To confess how I need you and know that vulnerability is okay. To look at you and see you looking at me and know that you’re thinking: “Wow. We really get to spend our lives together.” I’ll be thinking it, too. Because after all the false starts, babe, after all the wrong turns that broke my heart… I still believe you’ll come. I still believe you’ll find me.

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6 thoughts on “The other side of someday

  1. Having a spouse who completes me seems so mundane by now that I tend to forget how many years of my life were filled with painful yearning for that completion. The pain and yearning are distanced now, rendered vague in light of the love which dispelled them. Again and again I’ve wished I could tell others how it was done, how to finally find a genuine love, but I can’t. I’ve no idea how it’s done. For me, it was a happy accident; a combination of random events which had an amazing, totally unexpected outcome, like winning a one-chance-in-millions state lottery.

    Like the lottery, it can only happen if you buy a ticket. You cannot stand and wait when it comes to life’s most precious gamble. You must place your heart on the table and cut off a piece to get in the game. There may be losses but but they will be as nothing if you ever, once, win.

    • Eldergeek,

      That was so deeply heartfelt, and beautifully expressed. You really are truly blessed to have found each other. From what I’ve seen in my parents’ lives, I know that that kind of love can really happen. And it really is worth the risk.

      I always appreciate your comments here; I feel like I always realize something new. Thanks for stopping by again! 🙂

  2. awww begs. you really write beautifully. have you really never experienced this? it all seems so real. while i was reading, i almost thought you were writing about me! i experienced all of this and more, and you made me realize just how lucky i really am. 🙂

    oh and don’t worry, he will come 🙂

  3. Wow.

    Who are you? Who are you really? May I have an e-mail address to write to?

    I’m neither creep nor stalker. I’m a reader who wondered if he was the only one writing letters to an unknown future mate and found your letters as an answer. Your words summoned tears; just what these tired eyes needed.

    I could not pass by without asking for a contact.

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