And so the healing begins.

He no longer fills up my life.

He’s no longer my first thought when I wake up, no longer the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. I no longer judge whether a day is good or bad by whether I see him or not. My world is full again, even without him.

I realized it today when I felt surprised when I saw him. I knew he was gonna be there, but it completely slipped my mind. It slipped my mind! For once, I didn’t get dressed wondering if he’d like how I looked; for once I didn’t enter a room automatically checking to see if he was already there, eagerly anticipating that first smile of greeting. When he arrived, my pulse no longer leapt in response.

I had truly let him go, at last. After the aching loss and soul-deep loneliness, I welcomed the relief.

It’s really over now, and it’s okay. I’m going to be okay. I’m choosing to be okay.

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