You know you’re addicted to the Lord of the Rings when…

  • You’ve read The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, The Books of Lost Tales, The Silmarillion and everything else Tolkien has written – heck, everything he’s even touched – more than ten times.
  • No one in your family is allowed to speak, breathe, or otherwise suggest their existence while you’re watching the trilogy for the 57th time.
  • You know exactly what the characters in the movies are going to say next because a) you’ve watched them 57 times, b) you actually have the script and have read it over and over again, and c) you recorded the sounds with your mp3 player and keep listening to it all day.
  • You’ve been caught talking to trees and sympathizing that “nobody cares for the woods anymore”.
  • You want to petition your school to add Elvish 101 and The History of Middle Earth to your curriculum.
  • Anyone who dares to criticize, or heaven forbid, compare The Lord of the Rings to Harry Potter gets treated to a passionate two-hour rebuttal from you.
  • You’ve memorized quotes from the books.
  • You’ve memorized quotes from the movies.
  • You’ve memorized Elvish phrases.
  • You’ve memorized EVERYTHING connected to Tolkien!
  • You use “mellon” as your password.
  • You take more notes and pay more rapt attention when reading The Books of Lost Tales than when studying for your final History of Civilization exam.
  • Your mom warns visitors who have limited time to never mention “Tolkien”, “The Lord of the Rings”, and other similar words to you.
  • You start saying “eleventy-one” instead of “one hundred eleven” and refer to potatoes as “taters”.
  • There are more Lord of the Rings posters in your room than pictures of your family and friends.
  • You try to convince your married friends to throw their wedding rings into the fire.
  • All your favorite things are your “preciousssss”.
  • You decide whether the people you meet have good taste or not by asking them what they think of The Lord of the Rings.
  • You refer to your friends as your “Fellowship”.
  • You feel proud that you’re only five feet tall, because even the smallest person can change the course of the future.
  • You refer to meetings as “councils” and “Entmoots”.
  • You are seriously considering plastic surgery on your ears.
  • You think the world has changed. You feel it in the water. You feel it in the earth. You smell it in the air.
  • You know who Glorfindel is.
  • You seriously consider wearing green on your wedding day and walking down the aisle holding a banner.
  • You try to buy lembas bread at the bakery.
  • You know what LOTR, FOTR, TTT, ROTK, BOLT and Sil stand for and use them often.
  • You know exactly where and how the movies deviate from the books.
  • When you have no load or you’re in a place where there’s no network coverage, you try use beacons to communicate long distance.
  • You’ve memorized Middle Earth geography while you can’t quite remember whether Samar is in Visayas or
    Mindanao.
  • You’ve spent hours looking for “There and Back Again – A Hobbit’s Tale” in the library.
  • Fifty percent of the sites on your bookmarks are about The Lord of the Rings.
  • You know what happened in the Second Age of Middle Earth but don’t know the year that the Japanese landed on Philippine shores.
  • When you’re worried, you say that “a shadow and a threat is growing in your mind”.
  • When you’re sick, you ask for athelas, or kingsfoil. You’re also convinced that the doctor is a king in disguise, because “the hands of the king are the hands of a healer”.
  • You can relate to this list and…
  • You make lists like this.

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43 thoughts on “You know you’re addicted to the Lord of the Rings when…

  1. you have made lego lord of the rings using a ruler to make sure your balrogs trolls dwarves and hobbits are to size and succeeded

  2. actually i got linked here and the lego thing…no i havn’t these are all jokes…except the first one and ….maybe the last one also heres another one whenever you see somethingy pointy you immediatly yell AHHHHHHHHHH ITS THE WITCH KING!

  3. when watching a obama speech you refer to him as “Aragorn” and yhalf expect him to say there may come a day when al bonds of fellowship are broken but today is not that day stand me of america!

  4. you know who shagrat, gorbag, and lurtz are:whenever someone makes a offhand reference to LOTR you critcize their accuracy to it

  5. you write threatening letters or mailbombs to or shoot fire arrows at the headquarters of EA for what they did to BFME 1 and 2

  6. something disturbing i was just playing BF2 i joined a server called lord of the rings and the gu didn’t know what side sauron was no and thought saruman was the GOOD wizard another addicted to LOTR when meeting someone new to immediatly say “tell me your name and i will give you mine and more besides!”

  7. when you find yourself randomly yellking “ride them to ruin!” or “death death death!” or “muster the rohirrim!” or “riders of rohan!”

  8. when you meet someone named vladimir you wonder how hes related to boromir and faramir…he dosn’t look gondorian! and the accent is all wrong!

  9. also theoden:theodred arathorn aragorn…you forgot about the BEGINNING of the name then theres the random ones like denethor:boromir palidin:perigrin (i think…not complkeatly random anyway…same letter!) and alot of kings of rohan in the appendices

  10. when you try to sue ireland for stealing the story of lord of the rings for the snow queen story and replacing the rings with mirror shards

  11. – You wash your face in the sink and expect to see things that are, that have been and that have not yet come to pass.

    – You start to add a colour at the end of your name: Bob, the Off-White

    – You start introducing yourself by saying your name, your father’s name: Ex: I am Bob, son of Richard, will you aid me or thwart me? Choose swiftly!

    – You stand in the doorway and tell your cat that he “Shall not pass”.

  12. hey new person! welcome to randomness heres one you know who shagrat and gorbag Morgoth gothmog celeborn tom bombadil goldberry fatty bolger otho lotho and lobelia sackville baggins are

    • i know a fab website. http://www.councilofelrond.com It has loads of different Lord Of the Rings stuff on it.

      Whatever someone says you refere it somehow to Lord of the rings. e.g. someone says mountains and you think of bilbo saying Mountains Gandalf. Or someone talks about caves and you imediatly think of the glitering caves that Gimli Talks about in TTT

  13. or this one “you have a solid 25 hours a day set aside to do lotr related stuff”
    and “you constantly yell at your mom for not pronouncing celeborn keleborn”
    and “you are finding that a disturbing amount of things on this thread apply to you”

  14. i have not, because i am a trekkie as well as a ringer so i speak both languages. (elvish and klingon)

  15. yeah trekkie here as well i’m trying to learn elvish but i haven’t taken the time to find klingon resources yet

  16. You cry at the end of every movie but most of the tears are saved for the end of ROTK so you can cry like Merry, Pippin and Sam.

    That really relates to me. I always cry at the end of Return of the King

  17. You’ve watched the extended edition with the movies with commentary by the directors, then by the design team, and then by the cast and crew. (BTW, Billy Boyd is a delight and is so entertaining in those) ^__^

  18. When u r eating food and ur freinds call u 4 urgent work and u reply”don’t come between nazgul and its prey”

  19. When u have bought 9 rings from online store for every family member,,and u ur self wear the’one ring’

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